Archive | April 2013

Asking for It? A discourse on “Justified rape”.

I have heard it aImagell my life, I am sick to death of hearing it, not least because it is a complete myth; women who dress provocatively or immodestly are asking to be raped.

Anyone who believes this is at the least an apologist for rapists, at the worst they are dangerous men who are potential rapists themselves.

This old myth contiues to be perpetuated mostly by men, but I have even heard and read women – some of whom claim to be feminists, stating that if a woman dresses in immodest or revealing clothes, then by arousing male primal instincts they make sexual assault more likely.

Yet even a precursory glance at rape statistics and cases from around the world tell a very different story and indicate that dress clearly is not a factor in rape and other sexual assaults. The sad fact is that girls and women are sexually assaulted, from babies right up to and including the very elderly.  So if the apologists believe their own rhetoric, do they equally put the blame on all these slutty infants and whorish senior citizens?  Perhaps they should put a stop to all these Ann Summers romper suits and Victoria’s Secret surgical stockings?

Get real people.  Girls and women can be and are raped regardless of what they wear.  Skirts and blouses, long dresses, trousers, even Islamic women in all-over burqas and niqabs are not immune from sexual assault.

And what and who decides just what is immodest dress and what is erotic dress?  There are cultures in Africa where women of all ages go about with their breasts exposed and their children quite happily run about stark naked, as these peoples have done so for millennia.  Consider that the incidence of rape is no higher – and in some cases lower – than in the western world.  What is modest dress?  Pencil skirts, blouses and scarves?  Sorry to tell you but there are some who actually find that strict mode of dress erotic.  And the same goes for uniforms. Be they police, nurses, or any other type, including girls school uniforms, this form of dress has become synonimous with kinky sex.  So if women who dress immodestly, or women police officers, or nurses, or even little girls dressed for school, are sexually assaulted, are these victims similarily to blame as the women whom are claimed to be inviting rape by dressing “provocatively”?

Consider also that it is not only girls and women who are raped.  Whilst the incidence is much lesser than that of heterosexual rape, the rape of boys and men is very real and none the less serious.  Are they then to blame for homosexual rape by “dressing provocatively”?  Am I putting myself in danger by wearing a black tank top and a pair of figure-hugging black jeans?  How about when I am dressed in a suit, shirt and tie?  How about in my kilt with “nae breeks” beneath it?  How about right now in my scruffy comfy jeans and a sweater?  Fact – boys and men wearing any of the above, or any other clothing combinations are still anally raped or otherwise sexually assaulted.

Anyone who thinks that there is any connection between dress and sexual assault of any form knows nothing of the psychology of the abuser.  It may surprise many to learn that sexual assaults of any kind are not primarily driven by sexual impulses but rather they are crimes of violence.  Just like any other kind of abuse, it is a matter of the abuser, who is usually an inadequate individual, seeking to exercise power over and in many cases to humiliate their victims.  We see this when we look at rape and other sexual assaults as a weapon of war, where hetero and homosexual rape has been used not to satisfy sexual urges, but rather as a tool of dominance.  The abuser is in fact a bully, and in the nature of the bully, a coward who can only assert authority over those weaker than themelves.

Also, while the vast majority of sexual abusers are male, this does not mean women are by any means immune. Whilst  the incidence is much lesser than that of men, there are indeed women who sexually abuse boys, girls, other women and even men.  Are [I]their[/I] victims then “asking for it” by dressing provocatively?

The bottom line (no pun intended) is that boys and men do not dress to invite the unwanted attentions of the other (or the same) sex or are “asking for it”.  They dress in what is practical and/or to make themselves feel good, and sometimes in a manner which pleases their partners.  And gosh, shock, horror – who would have thunk it, women do exactly the same.

As such, just as boys and men do with impunity, any girl or woman should have the ability to wear what she wants, where she wants, when she wants.

Anyone who disagrees with that not only blames the victims, by being apologists for rapists, they become their enablers.